Previous England leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, states rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or possibly I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's easier," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately very emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Condition Development
MND can develop quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of identification, as eating and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the tears off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the focus was staying in the now.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely strongly focused on just accepting and savoring everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really fortunate that the only real decision I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Connection
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with research suggesting the rate of the disease is up to sixfold greater than in the general population.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and producing damage to motor neurone cells, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the condition in those already predisposed.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, relentless approach to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a training equipment and began throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical phase of play, establishing a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Assistance Community
Moody has already told Johnson, who skippered England to that title, and a handful of other ex- players about his medical situation, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of care and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to label your love your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Achieving this for so long a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will want to support in every way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
